Class let out an hour early and now I am sitting here just thinking , listening to Audioslave ( Be yourself) and on my blog.
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Do you ever find yourself feeling not know what you want?
I found myself not wanting to do the relationship thing and therefore broke it off with my ex. How can i commit when I am not 100% sure of what i want? Then after that these awesome guys are walking into my life. Guys on a whole different level , goal oriented, passionate about what ever they do and gentlemen to the fullest. Just when i thought I wanted to be single.
AHHH!story of my life.
But the reality is that I have decided that I will live each day at a time and to the fullest. I nor anybody else knows what tomorrow holds. So, whats the point of trying to stress and think about what may happen manana (tomorrow)?
I am going to strive for happiness at all times, to follow the beat of my heart , to jump and take risk when I need to and to move on when there is no longer a need for me to be there.
Had my share of broken hearts, been lied and cheated on , back stabbed and betrayed by friends but still i won't hold no punches. Because what goes around is surely to come back around. Its not my place to get revenge.
Just being me thats all I can do....take me as I am.
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im glad i came across ur blog...ive been back stabbed and betrayed by friends...how did u get through it
ReplyDeleteWell , at first it came to me as a big surprise. I was shocked and couldn't believe it but then i had to regain my composure and face facts. The truth is that things like this can always happen and as much as we don't want to we have to prepare ourselves for the worst.
ReplyDeleteFor instance i had these 3 good girl friends since freshmen year and we have been dorming together every since. Come Senior Year we were so lucky to get the biggest apartment on campus , it was a 4 person 4 bedroom apt. Its the apartment that every senior wants. But we got it. Since i was going away for a semester abroad , the school puts someone in that space and then when i come back for my second semester that person and I switch . Usually that person is going abroad for the semester as well. So its an easy switch. So my roommates found a friend to have that spot till i get back. Come November and half way around the world in Australia I get this 'non emotional' email from my friend basically telling me that they like how their situation is going with the new girl and that its working out . They also said that she decided not to go abroad and it would just be easier if she stayed and they would be HAPPY to help me find another apartment. ( WOW) thats was my initial reaction. Then they kept going to the head of housing, making excuses and since I am not in the country to defend myself in the end I was reassigned but thats a whole another issue. Because i wasn't suppose to move out and i wasn't going to. I was ready to stand my ground but the head of the housing is a douche bag and real stupid.
I wanted to talk to my friend about it so i Imed her to ask her , what the deal was. She didn't even have the balls to talk to me via an aim chat , she let two other girls who don't even know me to talk for her and even allowed them to get disrespectful with me.
Thats when i said , she is not the person i became friends with. She traded our friendship to be someone else . ( and believe she has changed , everything) I decided from there that since thats not the person i first knew that this new version of her is no friend of mine. When i got back to school it would be as i have never known her. it doesn't phase me but we are at a point in our lives where the high school games are real pathetic.
The other funny part is that she wrote me this long apology letter the day after i had to move into another apartment. She even said that she was brainwashed by other people who told her i was a bad friend. ( I haven't responded to it)
If peoples words can cause her to turn on our friendship then the bond was never there.
Yes people deserve another chance and stuff but I have a standard of what kind of friends i have in my life. Friends in my life are not just friends but family , someone i would go the extra mile for. What she did was seriously messed up and worst it was behind my back. I cant stand BACK STABBERS just come to ME and Tell me to my face. NO need to hide. I respect the person who clearly can say that ' I really don't like you' and move on. Instead of the one trying to find an excuse to justify her reasons for backstabbing.
There are so many people out there . Yes it hurts and makes you not want to trust people. But , be tough and learn when to let go , walk away and try again. When i went abroad i made friends for life there in 4 months. And we talk all the time and plan to travel together.
You lose 1 and Gain 5. Think like that. And always stay true to your self. You will get through it.
I understand what you are saying, but if she apologized is it really that hard to forgive her. Is it ok to just get rid of a friendship like that. Yes people change all the time, but it is a part of growing up and learning from your mistakes. She may really want to be friends with you and truly sorry about how things went down. I think you should respond to her letter. You know she did not even have to send the letter but u should see it as a sign of her trying to be a better person.
ReplyDeletethe friend that backstabbed me i thought we would be friends for life bc even thou we were completely opposite from ea other we still got along very well. now even tho she hurt me i have tried to reach out to her bc i want to mend our friendship and make things right. r u really willing to give up on that. i like to think that my friend is truly sorry but is not sure how i would react towards her.
now im not saying change urself @ all that is wat makes u u. idk...im the type of person that tries to make things better and that may be my problem.
my friend and i go to different schools and it really sucks that this is between us and plus i just broke up with my boyfriend-she hooked us up-and it would be really nice to talk to her.
don't let a little misunderstanding ruin a friendship
oh by the way...i had a friend and we didnt talk 2 each other 4 3yrs bc of something silly...we finally patched things and im gonna be the maid of honor @ her wedding...wat im tryin to say is things do work out if u give it a chance (more than once)
ReplyDeleteYes, I understand what you mean and I know people deserve second chances but I have no respect for someone who backstabbs another.I thought about it but , NO i already decided that I am not going to. Maybe if it was something petty but its a straight up back stabbing move. And there are somethings in life you realize you were wrong but by then its too late. The wound is there and every time if we were to do things together or something I'm always going to feel like I have to second guess and doubt her.
ReplyDeleteSo hopefully we will all learn from this for future stuff and maybe she won't do that to another friend.
Thanks for you advice because I have made up with past friends in the past and moved on. But some things i just can't let go.
i understand. well @ least there is no bad blood between u and ur past friends. as long as u dont let those things u cant let go eat u up thats all that matters. but i am sorry u and ur friends from freshmen yr are no longer friends.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
ReplyDeleteDo you have a blog on here? Cuz i tried to find it but your posting Anonymous. lol :)
welcome. no i dont have a blog on here. i actually never had a blog...i really dont kno why lol.
ReplyDeleteOH , lol, when u get one. let me know. i want to read what you have to say. :)
ReplyDelete