I am an African- American Bolivian woman and am currently dating a German man who must be that one in a million awesome guy. He is very goal oriented and definietly not controlling. If anything I am treated like a queen. He cooks me dinner , cleans , takes me out , plans weekend get aways, and listens to what I have to say .
I am not doubting the validity of these opinions but it really had me shocked. I do agree that maybe German men don't go on an all out rampage to pursue a woman. But that shouldn't discourage you, times are different and if that is something that you want then go out and get it.
Upon meeting my boyfriend for the first time he was shy and quiet. I just spoke to him like normal and just kept true to myself which in the end I believe is what made me more attractive to him and had him hooked. ( we are complete opposites but in our case opposites attract)
There have been a couple of occasions when I wasn't happy with some things and all it took was to simply address the problem. He was quick to make things better and to work on whatever needed to be fixed. I must admit there are some things that I am not use to but that is to be expected when dealing with anyone, regardless if they are foreigners or not.
For instance , I find it a little weird how its perfectly OK to hang out with your best-friend's girlfriend without the friend , or go to dinner, walks by a lake at sunset and hanging at their place with their friend who happens to be a girl. I think its a bit much and I would technically call that a date. But knowing who my boyfriend is , he is not that type of guy to make things seem more than what they are.
In my case , he is definitely not the jealous type and I guess thats because of the great trust we have in each other. But I find it hard to believe he wouldn't get jealous but I guess we will never find that out. ;) (oh and the sex: no comment :) hehehehe) I am happy.I did have a long term German BF, and he was extremely jealous. I couldn't talk to a man, even just a stranger to say hello, without him flipping out. We lived together for about a month, til I moved out, and left a message on his answer machine. And the Sex was all about him! Kept hoping he would get better. Left very disappointed!
I have also come across many comments on how German men would be the most happiest if woman did all of the cleaning. Ha! I believe my boyfriend sees more to me than just a "cleaning maid". And if he did he probably lost that thought the moment he met me. Although I am a pretty clean and neat person , I rather do things together than to be expected to do all of the work.
I feel very well respected as a woman in his eyes and I love the fact that we can talk and learn from each other all the time. Despite his busy schedule and the long distance in between we find ways to make each other smile.
About the topic of children and marriage , I really can't comment on that we still have tons of time before that topic of conversation comes up.3.Mar.2005 - 14:22 hrsYes, this is what I mean as well. On the one hand they enjoy the emancipation bit in the sense that we earn our own money AND still do the cooking and cleaning, but on the other hand they don't treat their women like women or in a courteous way. They also seem to all turn pretty pale the moment you mention the topic "children". Then it's "let's-get-out-of-here-time". This I have encountered so often with them! I have been living in Germany for very long already.. I otherwise really like them.
Despite the many opinions about German men it all comes down to :
1. Being yourself
2. Understanding each other's differences
3. Open communication
4. Establishing a good friendship before anything
and
5. Patience
I love my German and I feel like the most luckiest woman who has the best of the best.
Will be in his arms in 20 days.
http://www.toytowngermany.com/lofi/index.php/t13695.html
